Nick Clegg and David Cameron news story

Oh my god did you hear this news story about Nick Clegg and David Cameron?

One day Nick Clegg was sitting in the bath washing himself and he heard someone knocking on the door and then he said come in and then the person opened the door and it was his friend David Cameron completely naked. Nick Clegg smiled at David Cameron then other things happened which I can't say on here beause this website is rated U. Nick Clegg then woke up in the bath and actually found out that he was holding this battered sausage that he was in the middle of eating but didn't actually manage to finished because he drifted off to sleep.

He started crying a bit then there was another knock on the door, he said open up again and it was David Cameron and again he was completely naked, David Cameron was grinning from ear to ear then he said to Nick Clegg "I want you to do things to me baby" but Nick Clegg refused because he said that he had a wife, children, and was brought up with better morals than that.

He then woke up again and realised that he was still actually in the bath and nothing like that was happening. There was another knock on the door and it was David Cameron again and this time it wasn't a dream. This time David Cameron was pissing himself laughing whist pointing at Nick Cameron and then David Cameron said "Haha I drugged you with sleeping pills" he also pointed at a hidden camera in the corner of the bathroom which Nick Clegg didn't even notice. David Cameron then told Nick Clegg that he and Nick Cleggs wife were watching him have his dreams in a secret room Nick Clegg got out of the bath and got dressed then he pointed at David Cameron and said "Well I don't give a dam I've got an interview with O.K magazine in like 10 minutes see ya"

Nick Clegg stormed off in a huff and went to his interview, whilst Nick Clegg was at the interview David Cameron said to Nick Clegg's wife "Hey wouldn't it be funny if we prank called Nick Clegg and told him that he had a package to collect in North Korea". Nick Clegg's wife agreed that it would be extremely funny and so they did it. At the interview Nick Clegg picked up the phone and then the prank called happened. Nick Clegged hung up the phone and was so overcome with emotion and rage that the O.K magazine person had to give him a bucket to collect his tears with. The O.K Magazine Person then kept the bucket so that she could sell bags of his tears to homeless children in africa at an extortionate price.

Nick Clegg then woke up again and realised that he was actually in the House Of Commons and everyone was looking at him with their mouth wide open cause he was talking the whole dream in complete detail. He ran out of the House Of Commons crying and nobody has seen him for days. I know that it is true because I watched BBC Politics today and I wanted to tell you the story because I need an exclusive to make my blog look good. So I hope you enjoyed this completely exclusive story and tune in next time where I will be talking about something.

On a serious note: Never trust a politician.

Wednesday is the worlds best day.

And tomorrow will be the worlds worst day because it is not Wednesday. It is absolutely horrible to think that tomorrow I won't be sitting here like I am looking forward to an evening of drunken debauchery in the worlds most classiest club Cheapskates, instead tomorrow I will probably be reminising about how good this night out was and how there was no drama and how nobody got killed (I've probably said that now). But I'm going to go out tonight and I will make an another review about it tomorrow for you all to read and I am very excited and the reason why I havn't made it a facebook post is because the weird one will follow me so instead i am making it on here. Sorry that this post is a bit lazy but I am too busy grinning to myself about the night to come. You will read all about it here.

To all those Vegitarians out there who I offended in the latest one

I'm sorry it was a joke.

Why Morrissey is my favourite slut ever.

Morrissey is an amazing man because he was in a band and they were cooled the The Smiths and the reason why I said cooled instead of called is because it is really cool to like this band called The Smiths. But anyway I'm not even shitting you when I say that Morrissey is an amazing person he is actually one of my idols or something, I just really love Morrissey so I thought I would do an article about this kind of thing cause it get's the young hip people going and me being young and hip myself and living in London cause London is very hip. London is a nice place to live and so is Manchester which is why Morrissey was born, he was born because of Manchester existing then he met this guy called Jonothan Marr and together they united as one superhero force and made some really good pop tunes which I like. My favorite Smiths song is had to choose but I really love William, It really was nothing because I think it really is something. Morrissey is a bit of a mental guy though, when I saw him at Glastonbury he played Meat Is Murder which is a really shit song about vegitarianism. No offence to vegitarians but I fucking hate the way that they go around at parties and act all cool and stuff. At meal times it's fucking difficult to please a vegitarian and they sit there all smug like because you've made a different meal for them to everyone else. They are cunts but I love everyone including Vegitatians, a few of my friends are Vegitarians so it's alright I can say what I like about them. Anyway I love The Smiths so tune in next time for my next reading.

Haydn's Religious Debate

Being a Bhuddist would be really nice. Discuss.

Haydn's really good idea of the day: Discount Drugs

I don't see why the government has made drugs illegal because let's face it you can make a shit load of money out of Dealing Drugs. Obviously this isn't from personal experience but my friend deals Cannabis and I can tell you he makes like 150 pounds at a time, he is a rich bastard and I reckon if I dealt Cannabis I would be filthy rich too but I just don't get how shops like Tesco's, Sainsbury's or Asda havn't caught on to the fact that dealing drugs is a fucking brilliant money maker. I can just imagine Tesco's doing Tesco's value cannabis or heroin or something, I just find it a bit annoying that stores havn't caught on to this obviously brilliant idea but obviously when they read this they will think it's amazing and want to do it cause they will probably read it so here it is. My next post will be about something else that is highly relevant and shit. Stay tuned.

Does something smell really nice in the Kitchen?

Yes.