Hello,
My blog has reached 700 views today and I don't know whether to laugh or whether to cry or whether to just do what I planned to do before I realized. So to celebrate this here is another post for you to enjoy.
See you around.
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
How to avoid having an argument about Margaret Thatcher.
Hello guys I have been reading The Daily Mash and I thought it was really funny article that they said "How tot avoid talking about Margaret Thatcher" so I thought I would do my own version. My views are that I am happy that she is dead because everyone is smiling and my mum keeps on crying and stuff about it but they are tears of joy not sadness so I am happy that my mum is happy and if Maggie Twatcher's death makes everyone in Scotland happy and my mum happy then I am happy about her death also. Unfortunately (big long word) lots of people will not agree with my views and will call me a idiot so I've made up about 10 points on how I will avoicd getting into these arguments with people.
1. If somebody says "She saved this country" then I will get my phone, start at them directly in the eyes and do a Barack Obama face like this:
2. If somebody calls her "The Iron Lady" then I will divert the conversation to something that intrests me and I will go really crazy and mental about the topic until they get really engaged.
3. If somebody says "The Forklands war was her finest hour" then I will get a fork and throw it at them so it hits them or their friend in the face then they will be in alot of pain then they will hopefully forget about what they were talking about before the fork incident.
4. If somebody says "I will dance on her greave" then I will go to the bar at the pub and buy a pint and a packet of crisps.
5. If someone says "Think of her friends and family" then I will run my hand between my fingers and then get a drink.
So there you have it. Loads of people will be debating and trying to stick up for this women but if everything I heard about her is true then I think it is ok to be happy that she is dead. Sorry if this subject is a bit taboo but I don't give a shit.
Until next time,
Goodbue
1. If somebody says "She saved this country" then I will get my phone, start at them directly in the eyes and do a Barack Obama face like this:
3. If somebody says "The Forklands war was her finest hour" then I will get a fork and throw it at them so it hits them or their friend in the face then they will be in alot of pain then they will hopefully forget about what they were talking about before the fork incident.
4. If somebody says "I will dance on her greave" then I will go to the bar at the pub and buy a pint and a packet of crisps.
5. If someone says "Think of her friends and family" then I will run my hand between my fingers and then get a drink.
So there you have it. Loads of people will be debating and trying to stick up for this women but if everything I heard about her is true then I think it is ok to be happy that she is dead. Sorry if this subject is a bit taboo but I don't give a shit.
Until next time,
Goodbue
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Rihanna is a shit and can't play music
Rihanna is a shit and can't play music and I know this is true because I was walking down the streets with her one day and I asked her can you play music and she said no so then I got Chris Brown to come along and punch her in the face.
In all seriousness Rihanna is an absolutely terrible musician who really isn't good at all, I saw her live on this T.V show and she was singing so badly that it didn't even look like she was singing, she stole everybody's belongings after the T.V show and got home and when she was at home she used them all and laughed at what she did. She is a fucking slut.
I hate her and you can't say you haven't met her so how can you say you hate her Haydn, because I met her at a festival and she told me to fuck off then one of her security guards came up to me and threatened to stab me in the chest. This is a true story.
Sorry this post is a short one because I really need a shit so goodbye.
In all seriousness Rihanna is an absolutely terrible musician who really isn't good at all, I saw her live on this T.V show and she was singing so badly that it didn't even look like she was singing, she stole everybody's belongings after the T.V show and got home and when she was at home she used them all and laughed at what she did. She is a fucking slut.
I hate her and you can't say you haven't met her so how can you say you hate her Haydn, because I met her at a festival and she told me to fuck off then one of her security guards came up to me and threatened to stab me in the chest. This is a true story.
Sorry this post is a short one because I really need a shit so goodbye.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Crash Bandicoot is the fucking dog's bollocks.
Crash Bandicoot is a fucking great game and I love playing it because Crash is an absolute fucking lad for loads of reasons. He went on a night out drinking once with all his lad friends like the hullabugga mask or whatever and that chick who is always on the bonus levels and they did loads of heroin and crack cocaine together because he is a lad and doing drugs are really cool. Doing drugs are good because everyone does them. Pete Doherty snorted cocaine and smoked heroin and that got him loads of friends, his closest friend in the 1980's was this person called Max Powers, who he loved so much, Max would follow him around and film him doing everything including private activities like having a shit in the toilet or going shopping. Max Powers once filmed Pete Doherty going shopping and Pete Doherty got loads of publicity for it as everybody found it really interesting to watch Pete Doherty taking loads of groceries one day and just buying them IN HIS TROLLEY!!!!! because that's what normal people do.
Anyway back to Crash, Crash bandicoot took loads of drugs with his friends and started walking around the place going "I'm so fucking Crashed maan" which is funny cause his name is actually Crash. He managed to wander around and just through up everywhere and he was smiling all over the place because he was happy cause he was with his best friend the hullabugga mask and his girlfriend from the bonus round. But unfortunately that night he beat up the chinese girl from the third level in crash because she kept on pushing him off and now he's in prison.
I hope you enjoy reading this and don't do drugs folks or you might end up in jail like crash.
Anyway back to Crash, Crash bandicoot took loads of drugs with his friends and started walking around the place going "I'm so fucking Crashed maan" which is funny cause his name is actually Crash. He managed to wander around and just through up everywhere and he was smiling all over the place because he was happy cause he was with his best friend the hullabugga mask and his girlfriend from the bonus round. But unfortunately that night he beat up the chinese girl from the third level in crash because she kept on pushing him off and now he's in prison.
I hope you enjoy reading this and don't do drugs folks or you might end up in jail like crash.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Nick Clegg and David Cameron news story
Oh my god did you hear this news story about Nick Clegg and David Cameron?
One day Nick Clegg was sitting in the bath washing himself and he heard someone knocking on the door and then he said come in and then the person opened the door and it was his friend David Cameron completely naked. Nick Clegg smiled at David Cameron then other things happened which I can't say on here beause this website is rated U. Nick Clegg then woke up in the bath and actually found out that he was holding this battered sausage that he was in the middle of eating but didn't actually manage to finished because he drifted off to sleep.
He started crying a bit then there was another knock on the door, he said open up again and it was David Cameron and again he was completely naked, David Cameron was grinning from ear to ear then he said to Nick Clegg "I want you to do things to me baby" but Nick Clegg refused because he said that he had a wife, children, and was brought up with better morals than that.
He then woke up again and realised that he was still actually in the bath and nothing like that was happening. There was another knock on the door and it was David Cameron again and this time it wasn't a dream. This time David Cameron was pissing himself laughing whist pointing at Nick Cameron and then David Cameron said "Haha I drugged you with sleeping pills" he also pointed at a hidden camera in the corner of the bathroom which Nick Clegg didn't even notice. David Cameron then told Nick Clegg that he and Nick Cleggs wife were watching him have his dreams in a secret room Nick Clegg got out of the bath and got dressed then he pointed at David Cameron and said "Well I don't give a dam I've got an interview with O.K magazine in like 10 minutes see ya"
Nick Clegg stormed off in a huff and went to his interview, whilst Nick Clegg was at the interview David Cameron said to Nick Clegg's wife "Hey wouldn't it be funny if we prank called Nick Clegg and told him that he had a package to collect in North Korea". Nick Clegg's wife agreed that it would be extremely funny and so they did it. At the interview Nick Clegg picked up the phone and then the prank called happened. Nick Clegged hung up the phone and was so overcome with emotion and rage that the O.K magazine person had to give him a bucket to collect his tears with. The O.K Magazine Person then kept the bucket so that she could sell bags of his tears to homeless children in africa at an extortionate price.
Nick Clegg then woke up again and realised that he was actually in the House Of Commons and everyone was looking at him with their mouth wide open cause he was talking the whole dream in complete detail. He ran out of the House Of Commons crying and nobody has seen him for days. I know that it is true because I watched BBC Politics today and I wanted to tell you the story because I need an exclusive to make my blog look good. So I hope you enjoyed this completely exclusive story and tune in next time where I will be talking about something.
On a serious note: Never trust a politician.
One day Nick Clegg was sitting in the bath washing himself and he heard someone knocking on the door and then he said come in and then the person opened the door and it was his friend David Cameron completely naked. Nick Clegg smiled at David Cameron then other things happened which I can't say on here beause this website is rated U. Nick Clegg then woke up in the bath and actually found out that he was holding this battered sausage that he was in the middle of eating but didn't actually manage to finished because he drifted off to sleep.
He started crying a bit then there was another knock on the door, he said open up again and it was David Cameron and again he was completely naked, David Cameron was grinning from ear to ear then he said to Nick Clegg "I want you to do things to me baby" but Nick Clegg refused because he said that he had a wife, children, and was brought up with better morals than that.
He then woke up again and realised that he was still actually in the bath and nothing like that was happening. There was another knock on the door and it was David Cameron again and this time it wasn't a dream. This time David Cameron was pissing himself laughing whist pointing at Nick Cameron and then David Cameron said "Haha I drugged you with sleeping pills" he also pointed at a hidden camera in the corner of the bathroom which Nick Clegg didn't even notice. David Cameron then told Nick Clegg that he and Nick Cleggs wife were watching him have his dreams in a secret room Nick Clegg got out of the bath and got dressed then he pointed at David Cameron and said "Well I don't give a dam I've got an interview with O.K magazine in like 10 minutes see ya"
Nick Clegg stormed off in a huff and went to his interview, whilst Nick Clegg was at the interview David Cameron said to Nick Clegg's wife "Hey wouldn't it be funny if we prank called Nick Clegg and told him that he had a package to collect in North Korea". Nick Clegg's wife agreed that it would be extremely funny and so they did it. At the interview Nick Clegg picked up the phone and then the prank called happened. Nick Clegged hung up the phone and was so overcome with emotion and rage that the O.K magazine person had to give him a bucket to collect his tears with. The O.K Magazine Person then kept the bucket so that she could sell bags of his tears to homeless children in africa at an extortionate price.
Nick Clegg then woke up again and realised that he was actually in the House Of Commons and everyone was looking at him with their mouth wide open cause he was talking the whole dream in complete detail. He ran out of the House Of Commons crying and nobody has seen him for days. I know that it is true because I watched BBC Politics today and I wanted to tell you the story because I need an exclusive to make my blog look good. So I hope you enjoyed this completely exclusive story and tune in next time where I will be talking about something.
On a serious note: Never trust a politician.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Wednesday is the worlds best day.
And tomorrow will be the worlds worst day because it is not Wednesday. It is absolutely horrible to think that tomorrow I won't be sitting here like I am looking forward to an evening of drunken debauchery in the worlds most classiest club Cheapskates, instead tomorrow I will probably be reminising about how good this night out was and how there was no drama and how nobody got killed (I've probably said that now). But I'm going to go out tonight and I will make an another review about it tomorrow for you all to read and I am very excited and the reason why I havn't made it a facebook post is because the weird one will follow me so instead i am making it on here. Sorry that this post is a bit lazy but I am too busy grinning to myself about the night to come. You will read all about it here.
Saturday, 19 May 2012
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