Hi guys it's me again thought I would do another thing because i've had a couple of beers and my parents are out but they don't know i'm an alcoholic so please don't tell them thank you. at the moment i'm dead into underground dance music and i really like the djs i've listened to carl cox a couple of times and lots and lots of ben klock dj sets so i know everything there is to know about the scene and i can tell you exactly how to dj if you want to know then just send me a fax and I can tell you.
Ricardo Villalobos is an amazing guy he is from a chillean village and all the children love him. Whenever I think of chilly i think of poor starving children and then i think of good old ricardo getting shitfaced and feeding the food and the beer to all the starving kids and they all have a great time with each other. He called david guetta a cunt and punched him in a fight when they did a b2b set in fabric. they were all beating the shit out of each other and stuff then a bouncer got involved and stabbed david with a knife and then he respawned and then he died again but now he is still alive.
also there is a dj called carl cox who is good but he is not as good as fatboy slim. whenever I see him he always has this cheeky grin on his face like he has just done a massive line of coke and he's gonna lay down some really great tech house. all the ladies in their bikinis are dancing and that is a very imprtant thing to have women in dance music which is why the next person I talk about will be Heidi.
Heidi has frizzy blode hair and she waves it around like a mad man (or mad woman actually because she is a woman) she also beat carl cox up in a fight once and they were fighting each other and having a brawl and farting in each others faces.
Anyway there you go.
Saturday, 1 April 2017
Thursday, 26 June 2014
How to become an actor by Haydn Davies
Acting is a very hard thing to do and luckily not everyone can do it. Luckily I can do it really well so I'm here to tell you how it's done. If you follow my advice then you will be a grade A actor, trust me when I say I know from my own experiences that this is exactly how you become a actor. You can follow these steps and become a great actor but if you don't then that's fin e don't worry. Ok then here is how you become a good actor.
Step 1: Learn To Act
Learning to act is the hardest thing in the world bu tthe best thing that you can do to learn how to act is just watch loads of films really. If you want to be in an action film then you've just got to watch Jurassic Park or Con Air, they say loads of well good lines in those films and you can adapt in this role really easily. If you want to become a better actor though watch some horror films like HARRRY potter. Harry Potter is a really scary film, it's especially scary when Ginny Weasely says a line because her acting is fucking terrible and I wish she was dead. (SHOT by a load of homeless dudes in an alleyway). Acting in plays is different to acting in films because plays are a live thing so if you want to act really well in plays then I would suggest that you look at all the different facial expressions that people use and fucking read their expressions because life is basically live and acting in a play is actually acting like you are in real life but you are not.
Step 2: Lifes A Stage
The best way you can be a good actor is to act as though life is a stage init. So like, when something happens at a party you have to really really over react all the time like it's the biggest event in the world. I'll give you an example: if someone calls you a cunt then you have to act as though Hitler has just come back from the dead and had sex with your wife so that loads of people will look at you and give you all sorts of attention and things like that. Also vomiting in the toilet is a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really big deal so if someone does that then they are not your friend anymore and they are not a fUCKING actor.
Also you should talk about sex all the time.
Step 3: If all else fails, you could always just become a porn star.
Hello, my name is Haydn Davies and you are reading this post in 5 years time, you are a failed actor and you have given your life to cocaine and depression. Are you worried? Don't worry, cause in life there are always second options. In reality style porn films they act all the time and it's always really good acting, plus it means you get to have sex all the time and if you've followed my advice in step 2 then you'll know that it'll help you to do that, you can even mention that it was filmed and you were getting payed for it as well and everyone will think you're really cool I promise.
Step 4: You may want to be an actor but you won't be a better actor than Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey is the best actor the world has ever seen and he's original in absolutely every single film he does, so bear that in mind when you are trying to act.
I can't be bothered to write any more so this is it goodbye.
Step 1: Learn To Act
Learning to act is the hardest thing in the world bu tthe best thing that you can do to learn how to act is just watch loads of films really. If you want to be in an action film then you've just got to watch Jurassic Park or Con Air, they say loads of well good lines in those films and you can adapt in this role really easily. If you want to become a better actor though watch some horror films like HARRRY potter. Harry Potter is a really scary film, it's especially scary when Ginny Weasely says a line because her acting is fucking terrible and I wish she was dead. (SHOT by a load of homeless dudes in an alleyway). Acting in plays is different to acting in films because plays are a live thing so if you want to act really well in plays then I would suggest that you look at all the different facial expressions that people use and fucking read their expressions because life is basically live and acting in a play is actually acting like you are in real life but you are not.
Step 2: Lifes A Stage
The best way you can be a good actor is to act as though life is a stage init. So like, when something happens at a party you have to really really over react all the time like it's the biggest event in the world. I'll give you an example: if someone calls you a cunt then you have to act as though Hitler has just come back from the dead and had sex with your wife so that loads of people will look at you and give you all sorts of attention and things like that. Also vomiting in the toilet is a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really big deal so if someone does that then they are not your friend anymore and they are not a fUCKING actor.
Also you should talk about sex all the time.
Step 3: If all else fails, you could always just become a porn star.
Hello, my name is Haydn Davies and you are reading this post in 5 years time, you are a failed actor and you have given your life to cocaine and depression. Are you worried? Don't worry, cause in life there are always second options. In reality style porn films they act all the time and it's always really good acting, plus it means you get to have sex all the time and if you've followed my advice in step 2 then you'll know that it'll help you to do that, you can even mention that it was filmed and you were getting payed for it as well and everyone will think you're really cool I promise.
Step 4: You may want to be an actor but you won't be a better actor than Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey is the best actor the world has ever seen and he's original in absolutely every single film he does, so bear that in mind when you are trying to act.
I can't be bothered to write any more so this is it goodbye.
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Haydn's Nice Poem
Hi guys here is a poem I write and this morning hope you like it.
I got up this morning and it was beautiful
I got some bacon and it tasted beautiful
I looked at the sun and it was bright as well as beautiful
I looked at my Crash Bandicoot CD and it was also beautiful
I looked at my bottle of Bulmers Pear and it was indeed beautiful
I curled one out in the toilet and that was beautuful
I yelled at the neighbours cat and it was beautiful
I went for a piss in the shower and that too was beautiful
I chundered in the back seat of my mothers car and that was beautiful
I took some Class A drugs and it ultimately ended in beauty
Then I realized I was a pretentious little shit and went back to bed.
by haydn davies
for the rest of my work go and see your doctor and take a shit on her door.
I got up this morning and it was beautiful
I got some bacon and it tasted beautiful
I looked at the sun and it was bright as well as beautiful
I looked at my Crash Bandicoot CD and it was also beautiful
I looked at my bottle of Bulmers Pear and it was indeed beautiful
I curled one out in the toilet and that was beautuful
I yelled at the neighbours cat and it was beautiful
I went for a piss in the shower and that too was beautiful
I chundered in the back seat of my mothers car and that was beautiful
I took some Class A drugs and it ultimately ended in beauty
Then I realized I was a pretentious little shit and went back to bed.
by haydn davies
for the rest of my work go and see your doctor and take a shit on her door.
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Politics Presents How to life your life
A lot of people come up for me on the streets and ask me what the hell do you do for a living Haydn. I always say to them that to them that I am a life coach and I also always say to them that I am the worlds most number 1 pick up artists.
If you wandring what pick up artists is then you have come to the right place. Pick up artists is not where you just pick up a girl from teh streets like a crane or something but it is where you go up to a girl and you tell them yourt best chat up line and they go all shy then they want to have your number but if they don't want to have your number within your first line of chat then you force them to have your number by the power of mind-rape a.k.a manuplulations.
Today I will be talking about how 10 tips on how to absolutely live your life and this is how you do it motherfuckers.
Tip number 1. Don't ever be yourself infront of a woman.
If you be yourself infront of a woman then this is the worst possible thing that you can do. The girl will think your are week and will hate you and will most likely want to kill you in your sleep or put some drugs in your coffee then whatch you die. Always act like the opposite of your personality, e.g I am a relaly nice guy and stuff but if I saw a tasty looking gink (gink is anotehr word for woman by the way, never call a woman a woman because they are not womens init). I would behave like a complete DICKHEAD TO HER AND SHE WILL LOVE IT CAUSE SHE WILL THINK OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS BEING A CUNT HE DOENS'T GIVE A FUCK.
Tip number 2. Never just have a normal conversation with a WOMAN.
Think you can jsut sit down and be normal with a woman? THINK AGAIN. If you are talking to a woman and immediately if you talk and you are nice to her then you are in THE FRIENDS ZONE. This is a zone where you don't not want to be in because it basically means that you can't have sex with them caus they are your friend. THEE IS NOT POINT IN BEIGN A FRIIEND TO A WOMAN. They are only good to look at and to have sex with them. I should know because i have had sex with about 2000 different women, and each time i did it it was definately really intimate and full of passion and trust.
I have run out of ideas because I can't be bothere d to think about this anymore but I can't even think that I've covered everything. Hope you have enjoyed the read and it was an excellent time writing this.
Tune in next week when something will happen.
If you wandring what pick up artists is then you have come to the right place. Pick up artists is not where you just pick up a girl from teh streets like a crane or something but it is where you go up to a girl and you tell them yourt best chat up line and they go all shy then they want to have your number but if they don't want to have your number within your first line of chat then you force them to have your number by the power of mind-rape a.k.a manuplulations.
Today I will be talking about how 10 tips on how to absolutely live your life and this is how you do it motherfuckers.
Tip number 1. Don't ever be yourself infront of a woman.
If you be yourself infront of a woman then this is the worst possible thing that you can do. The girl will think your are week and will hate you and will most likely want to kill you in your sleep or put some drugs in your coffee then whatch you die. Always act like the opposite of your personality, e.g I am a relaly nice guy and stuff but if I saw a tasty looking gink (gink is anotehr word for woman by the way, never call a woman a woman because they are not womens init). I would behave like a complete DICKHEAD TO HER AND SHE WILL LOVE IT CAUSE SHE WILL THINK OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS BEING A CUNT HE DOENS'T GIVE A FUCK.
Tip number 2. Never just have a normal conversation with a WOMAN.
Think you can jsut sit down and be normal with a woman? THINK AGAIN. If you are talking to a woman and immediately if you talk and you are nice to her then you are in THE FRIENDS ZONE. This is a zone where you don't not want to be in because it basically means that you can't have sex with them caus they are your friend. THEE IS NOT POINT IN BEIGN A FRIIEND TO A WOMAN. They are only good to look at and to have sex with them. I should know because i have had sex with about 2000 different women, and each time i did it it was definately really intimate and full of passion and trust.
I have run out of ideas because I can't be bothere d to think about this anymore but I can't even think that I've covered everything. Hope you have enjoyed the read and it was an excellent time writing this.
Tune in next week when something will happen.
Sunday, 14 April 2013
700 Views Baby
Hello,
My blog has reached 700 views today and I don't know whether to laugh or whether to cry or whether to just do what I planned to do before I realized. So to celebrate this here is another post for you to enjoy.
See you around.
My blog has reached 700 views today and I don't know whether to laugh or whether to cry or whether to just do what I planned to do before I realized. So to celebrate this here is another post for you to enjoy.
See you around.
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
How to avoid having an argument about Margaret Thatcher.
Hello guys I have been reading The Daily Mash and I thought it was really funny article that they said "How tot avoid talking about Margaret Thatcher" so I thought I would do my own version. My views are that I am happy that she is dead because everyone is smiling and my mum keeps on crying and stuff about it but they are tears of joy not sadness so I am happy that my mum is happy and if Maggie Twatcher's death makes everyone in Scotland happy and my mum happy then I am happy about her death also. Unfortunately (big long word) lots of people will not agree with my views and will call me a idiot so I've made up about 10 points on how I will avoicd getting into these arguments with people.
1. If somebody says "She saved this country" then I will get my phone, start at them directly in the eyes and do a Barack Obama face like this:
2. If somebody calls her "The Iron Lady" then I will divert the conversation to something that intrests me and I will go really crazy and mental about the topic until they get really engaged.
3. If somebody says "The Forklands war was her finest hour" then I will get a fork and throw it at them so it hits them or their friend in the face then they will be in alot of pain then they will hopefully forget about what they were talking about before the fork incident.
4. If somebody says "I will dance on her greave" then I will go to the bar at the pub and buy a pint and a packet of crisps.
5. If someone says "Think of her friends and family" then I will run my hand between my fingers and then get a drink.
So there you have it. Loads of people will be debating and trying to stick up for this women but if everything I heard about her is true then I think it is ok to be happy that she is dead. Sorry if this subject is a bit taboo but I don't give a shit.
Until next time,
Goodbue
1. If somebody says "She saved this country" then I will get my phone, start at them directly in the eyes and do a Barack Obama face like this:
3. If somebody says "The Forklands war was her finest hour" then I will get a fork and throw it at them so it hits them or their friend in the face then they will be in alot of pain then they will hopefully forget about what they were talking about before the fork incident.
4. If somebody says "I will dance on her greave" then I will go to the bar at the pub and buy a pint and a packet of crisps.
5. If someone says "Think of her friends and family" then I will run my hand between my fingers and then get a drink.
So there you have it. Loads of people will be debating and trying to stick up for this women but if everything I heard about her is true then I think it is ok to be happy that she is dead. Sorry if this subject is a bit taboo but I don't give a shit.
Until next time,
Goodbue
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Rihanna is a shit and can't play music
Rihanna is a shit and can't play music and I know this is true because I was walking down the streets with her one day and I asked her can you play music and she said no so then I got Chris Brown to come along and punch her in the face.
In all seriousness Rihanna is an absolutely terrible musician who really isn't good at all, I saw her live on this T.V show and she was singing so badly that it didn't even look like she was singing, she stole everybody's belongings after the T.V show and got home and when she was at home she used them all and laughed at what she did. She is a fucking slut.
I hate her and you can't say you haven't met her so how can you say you hate her Haydn, because I met her at a festival and she told me to fuck off then one of her security guards came up to me and threatened to stab me in the chest. This is a true story.
Sorry this post is a short one because I really need a shit so goodbye.
In all seriousness Rihanna is an absolutely terrible musician who really isn't good at all, I saw her live on this T.V show and she was singing so badly that it didn't even look like she was singing, she stole everybody's belongings after the T.V show and got home and when she was at home she used them all and laughed at what she did. She is a fucking slut.
I hate her and you can't say you haven't met her so how can you say you hate her Haydn, because I met her at a festival and she told me to fuck off then one of her security guards came up to me and threatened to stab me in the chest. This is a true story.
Sorry this post is a short one because I really need a shit so goodbye.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Crash Bandicoot is the fucking dog's bollocks.
Crash Bandicoot is a fucking great game and I love playing it because Crash is an absolute fucking lad for loads of reasons. He went on a night out drinking once with all his lad friends like the hullabugga mask or whatever and that chick who is always on the bonus levels and they did loads of heroin and crack cocaine together because he is a lad and doing drugs are really cool. Doing drugs are good because everyone does them. Pete Doherty snorted cocaine and smoked heroin and that got him loads of friends, his closest friend in the 1980's was this person called Max Powers, who he loved so much, Max would follow him around and film him doing everything including private activities like having a shit in the toilet or going shopping. Max Powers once filmed Pete Doherty going shopping and Pete Doherty got loads of publicity for it as everybody found it really interesting to watch Pete Doherty taking loads of groceries one day and just buying them IN HIS TROLLEY!!!!! because that's what normal people do.
Anyway back to Crash, Crash bandicoot took loads of drugs with his friends and started walking around the place going "I'm so fucking Crashed maan" which is funny cause his name is actually Crash. He managed to wander around and just through up everywhere and he was smiling all over the place because he was happy cause he was with his best friend the hullabugga mask and his girlfriend from the bonus round. But unfortunately that night he beat up the chinese girl from the third level in crash because she kept on pushing him off and now he's in prison.
I hope you enjoy reading this and don't do drugs folks or you might end up in jail like crash.
Anyway back to Crash, Crash bandicoot took loads of drugs with his friends and started walking around the place going "I'm so fucking Crashed maan" which is funny cause his name is actually Crash. He managed to wander around and just through up everywhere and he was smiling all over the place because he was happy cause he was with his best friend the hullabugga mask and his girlfriend from the bonus round. But unfortunately that night he beat up the chinese girl from the third level in crash because she kept on pushing him off and now he's in prison.
I hope you enjoy reading this and don't do drugs folks or you might end up in jail like crash.
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Nick Clegg and David Cameron news story
Oh my god did you hear this news story about Nick Clegg and David Cameron?
One day Nick Clegg was sitting in the bath washing himself and he heard someone knocking on the door and then he said come in and then the person opened the door and it was his friend David Cameron completely naked. Nick Clegg smiled at David Cameron then other things happened which I can't say on here beause this website is rated U. Nick Clegg then woke up in the bath and actually found out that he was holding this battered sausage that he was in the middle of eating but didn't actually manage to finished because he drifted off to sleep.
He started crying a bit then there was another knock on the door, he said open up again and it was David Cameron and again he was completely naked, David Cameron was grinning from ear to ear then he said to Nick Clegg "I want you to do things to me baby" but Nick Clegg refused because he said that he had a wife, children, and was brought up with better morals than that.
He then woke up again and realised that he was still actually in the bath and nothing like that was happening. There was another knock on the door and it was David Cameron again and this time it wasn't a dream. This time David Cameron was pissing himself laughing whist pointing at Nick Cameron and then David Cameron said "Haha I drugged you with sleeping pills" he also pointed at a hidden camera in the corner of the bathroom which Nick Clegg didn't even notice. David Cameron then told Nick Clegg that he and Nick Cleggs wife were watching him have his dreams in a secret room Nick Clegg got out of the bath and got dressed then he pointed at David Cameron and said "Well I don't give a dam I've got an interview with O.K magazine in like 10 minutes see ya"
Nick Clegg stormed off in a huff and went to his interview, whilst Nick Clegg was at the interview David Cameron said to Nick Clegg's wife "Hey wouldn't it be funny if we prank called Nick Clegg and told him that he had a package to collect in North Korea". Nick Clegg's wife agreed that it would be extremely funny and so they did it. At the interview Nick Clegg picked up the phone and then the prank called happened. Nick Clegged hung up the phone and was so overcome with emotion and rage that the O.K magazine person had to give him a bucket to collect his tears with. The O.K Magazine Person then kept the bucket so that she could sell bags of his tears to homeless children in africa at an extortionate price.
Nick Clegg then woke up again and realised that he was actually in the House Of Commons and everyone was looking at him with their mouth wide open cause he was talking the whole dream in complete detail. He ran out of the House Of Commons crying and nobody has seen him for days. I know that it is true because I watched BBC Politics today and I wanted to tell you the story because I need an exclusive to make my blog look good. So I hope you enjoyed this completely exclusive story and tune in next time where I will be talking about something.
On a serious note: Never trust a politician.
One day Nick Clegg was sitting in the bath washing himself and he heard someone knocking on the door and then he said come in and then the person opened the door and it was his friend David Cameron completely naked. Nick Clegg smiled at David Cameron then other things happened which I can't say on here beause this website is rated U. Nick Clegg then woke up in the bath and actually found out that he was holding this battered sausage that he was in the middle of eating but didn't actually manage to finished because he drifted off to sleep.
He started crying a bit then there was another knock on the door, he said open up again and it was David Cameron and again he was completely naked, David Cameron was grinning from ear to ear then he said to Nick Clegg "I want you to do things to me baby" but Nick Clegg refused because he said that he had a wife, children, and was brought up with better morals than that.
He then woke up again and realised that he was still actually in the bath and nothing like that was happening. There was another knock on the door and it was David Cameron again and this time it wasn't a dream. This time David Cameron was pissing himself laughing whist pointing at Nick Cameron and then David Cameron said "Haha I drugged you with sleeping pills" he also pointed at a hidden camera in the corner of the bathroom which Nick Clegg didn't even notice. David Cameron then told Nick Clegg that he and Nick Cleggs wife were watching him have his dreams in a secret room Nick Clegg got out of the bath and got dressed then he pointed at David Cameron and said "Well I don't give a dam I've got an interview with O.K magazine in like 10 minutes see ya"
Nick Clegg stormed off in a huff and went to his interview, whilst Nick Clegg was at the interview David Cameron said to Nick Clegg's wife "Hey wouldn't it be funny if we prank called Nick Clegg and told him that he had a package to collect in North Korea". Nick Clegg's wife agreed that it would be extremely funny and so they did it. At the interview Nick Clegg picked up the phone and then the prank called happened. Nick Clegged hung up the phone and was so overcome with emotion and rage that the O.K magazine person had to give him a bucket to collect his tears with. The O.K Magazine Person then kept the bucket so that she could sell bags of his tears to homeless children in africa at an extortionate price.
Nick Clegg then woke up again and realised that he was actually in the House Of Commons and everyone was looking at him with their mouth wide open cause he was talking the whole dream in complete detail. He ran out of the House Of Commons crying and nobody has seen him for days. I know that it is true because I watched BBC Politics today and I wanted to tell you the story because I need an exclusive to make my blog look good. So I hope you enjoyed this completely exclusive story and tune in next time where I will be talking about something.
On a serious note: Never trust a politician.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Wednesday is the worlds best day.
And tomorrow will be the worlds worst day because it is not Wednesday. It is absolutely horrible to think that tomorrow I won't be sitting here like I am looking forward to an evening of drunken debauchery in the worlds most classiest club Cheapskates, instead tomorrow I will probably be reminising about how good this night out was and how there was no drama and how nobody got killed (I've probably said that now). But I'm going to go out tonight and I will make an another review about it tomorrow for you all to read and I am very excited and the reason why I havn't made it a facebook post is because the weird one will follow me so instead i am making it on here. Sorry that this post is a bit lazy but I am too busy grinning to myself about the night to come. You will read all about it here.
Saturday, 19 May 2012
Why Morrissey is my favourite slut ever.
Morrissey is an amazing man because he was in a band and they were cooled the The Smiths and the reason why I said cooled instead of called is because it is really cool to like this band called The Smiths. But anyway I'm not even shitting you when I say that Morrissey is an amazing person he is actually one of my idols or something, I just really love Morrissey so I thought I would do an article about this kind of thing cause it get's the young hip people going and me being young and hip myself and living in London cause London is very hip. London is a nice place to live and so is Manchester which is why Morrissey was born, he was born because of Manchester existing then he met this guy called Jonothan Marr and together they united as one superhero force and made some really good pop tunes which I like. My favorite Smiths song is had to choose but I really love William, It really was nothing because I think it really is something. Morrissey is a bit of a mental guy though, when I saw him at Glastonbury he played Meat Is Murder which is a really shit song about vegitarianism. No offence to vegitarians but I fucking hate the way that they go around at parties and act all cool and stuff. At meal times it's fucking difficult to please a vegitarian and they sit there all smug like because you've made a different meal for them to everyone else. They are cunts but I love everyone including Vegitatians, a few of my friends are Vegitarians so it's alright I can say what I like about them. Anyway I love The Smiths so tune in next time for my next reading.
Friday, 18 May 2012
Haydn's really good idea of the day: Discount Drugs
I don't see why the government has made drugs illegal because let's face it you can make a shit load of money out of Dealing Drugs. Obviously this isn't from personal experience but my friend deals Cannabis and I can tell you he makes like 150 pounds at a time, he is a rich bastard and I reckon if I dealt Cannabis I would be filthy rich too but I just don't get how shops like Tesco's, Sainsbury's or Asda havn't caught on to the fact that dealing drugs is a fucking brilliant money maker. I can just imagine Tesco's doing Tesco's value cannabis or heroin or something, I just find it a bit annoying that stores havn't caught on to this obviously brilliant idea but obviously when they read this they will think it's amazing and want to do it cause they will probably read it so here it is. My next post will be about something else that is highly relevant and shit. Stay tuned.
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Things I can't fucking wait for
Hey guys at the moment I'm feeling really down. I have only 120 pounds in my bank account, no house to move into at the moment and no bitch to make me a sadwitch (Just kidding I'm not that kind of guy lol) and the reason why I said sadwitch was because I am feeling quite sad at the moment so instead of sitting here and wollowing in my own anxiety I decided to write another riveting post about things of real importance to everyone. This is my another list and this time it is about things I can't wait for because I need something to cheer me up. The reason why the numbers on the list is in capitol letters is because.
NUMBER ONE: The curry I am going to have later.
Curry is a really important part of our culture and we actually invented it, hence why you get loads of indian take aways nowadays. I love Indian people so therefore I have decided to microwave a curry later to celebrate Indian culture. So this is number one.
NUMBER TWO: Going to ATP next week
All Tommorows Parties is an absoluetley brilliant festival where you can see loads of bands and shit that no one knows and everyone pretends that their all hip and cool and stuff and I'm going to go to ATP to do just that.
NUMBER THREE: Going to Cheapskates next week.
I can't really remember much of when I went to Cheapskates but that was because I was passed out on this sofa most of the time but Cheapskates is an absolutely wanderous place in Soho that's only there on Wedesdays, Vodka and Cokes are only £1.00 and you can get absolutely shit faced really quickly which is why I am going again and I will probably end up passing out like last time but that's well funny and people will respect you more in society for doing this.
NUMBER FOUR: Queen Josh's Party next week.
Basically my friend at Uni is having a party and we all have to dress up in suits or something. I've got a suit and I am dressing up, there is going to be this paddling pool with loads of booze in and I will take loads of booze from the paddling pool and will probably pass out again. So basically that's two nights a week I will be passing out, which makes me the height of the Alpha Male in today's society.
NUMBER FIVE: Nothing else really
Basically I'm just really looking forward to life in general. I may have 120 pounds or whatever but that doesn't mean I can't have a good time, I realist that I was being an absolute cretin for moaning about it and now I am raring to take up the challenge of being a skint and I will just see how it goes. I might find other ways of making money like maybe starting up a Covers band with people and playing shit gigs at pubs.
So anyway there you had it. I told you writing this would make me happier and it has, check out my next post where I will be talking about more interlectual shit like this init. Goodbye.
NUMBER ONE: The curry I am going to have later.
Curry is a really important part of our culture and we actually invented it, hence why you get loads of indian take aways nowadays. I love Indian people so therefore I have decided to microwave a curry later to celebrate Indian culture. So this is number one.
NUMBER TWO: Going to ATP next week
All Tommorows Parties is an absoluetley brilliant festival where you can see loads of bands and shit that no one knows and everyone pretends that their all hip and cool and stuff and I'm going to go to ATP to do just that.
NUMBER THREE: Going to Cheapskates next week.
I can't really remember much of when I went to Cheapskates but that was because I was passed out on this sofa most of the time but Cheapskates is an absolutely wanderous place in Soho that's only there on Wedesdays, Vodka and Cokes are only £1.00 and you can get absolutely shit faced really quickly which is why I am going again and I will probably end up passing out like last time but that's well funny and people will respect you more in society for doing this.
NUMBER FOUR: Queen Josh's Party next week.
Basically my friend at Uni is having a party and we all have to dress up in suits or something. I've got a suit and I am dressing up, there is going to be this paddling pool with loads of booze in and I will take loads of booze from the paddling pool and will probably pass out again. So basically that's two nights a week I will be passing out, which makes me the height of the Alpha Male in today's society.
NUMBER FIVE: Nothing else really
Basically I'm just really looking forward to life in general. I may have 120 pounds or whatever but that doesn't mean I can't have a good time, I realist that I was being an absolute cretin for moaning about it and now I am raring to take up the challenge of being a skint and I will just see how it goes. I might find other ways of making money like maybe starting up a Covers band with people and playing shit gigs at pubs.
So anyway there you had it. I told you writing this would make me happier and it has, check out my next post where I will be talking about more interlectual shit like this init. Goodbye.
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Having a proper gander at Propaganda
Basically it's been fucking ages since I've done a post on here (a whole day I think) and I think that I should fucking make a fucking post because I'm a nice guy and people want to hear loads of shit about my life even though they probably don't really give a dogs bacon. But anyway, here is another pleasant post by me Haydn Davies but this time it is not a post but it is, it's actually a review of a night out that me and my Pop Music Pal's and a few tag alongs went to and it is from start to finish so let's enjoy it while we can eh? I don't really know how to make it funny because to be perfectly blunt it was just an average amazing night out at a fucking great Indie club where I would go to again.
Basically I made the event a few weeks prior to the event actually happening and this was to attract loads more people but little did I know that only 6 people would come along with a few people who would join us later on at the club a bit later. So anyway we sat in Adams room and I suggested that we should play a drinking game as I usually do but everyone fucking ignored me and Adam had to go to work because he had to get work done, so anyway I had a booze in my hand and so I drank it then I went back to my bedroom and got another peice of booze to take on the club journey which successfully got confiscated. So we were sitting on the bus taking loads of wild photo's and we did and then we got off the bus and onto the tube and we were still taking loads of shit photos for no apparent reason, Jamie kept on making me do these poses and I really didn't know why and I was getting quite irritated to be frank.
We got off the tune and then headed to Spoons where we sat and drank quite a bit, I suggested that we commence International rules which got me in a bit of a state to be honest, so we wandered out of the pub and went to the offy to get some more peices of booze, I got some booze aswell and I got mine confiscated again which really put me in a foul mood cause I had nothing to drink on the train. So I was sitting on the train slowly sobering up which was annoying then we decided to get off the train to go to the urinate, so we found this really dingy looking alley way and I'm surprised that I didn't get raped or anything (I made a rape joke on the internet sorry girls).
So anyway we got off at Angel, and for fucking ages we were lost which was really irritating so we eventually found the club and the security was dickheads as usual and we set off and had a night out. I thought Vodka and Coke was 1 pounds 50 at this place but that turned out to be false advertising and I ended up paying 3 pounds 50 for one vodka and coke which pissed me off, but it was OK cause it still got me drunk. The rest of the night was spend getting wasted and in a state, then Sam decided to do some really outrageous dancing which I found hilarious and then I got an accidental free beer from Joe which I owe him. Then we had enough so we headed to McDonalds and got a taxi home.
As you can tell from above, it was pretty average night out getting wasted and having a good time, I did this really weird thing where I was passed out but I was standing up but I can't really remember it. All in all it was a very good night out and I liked the part where stuff happened. I got the club vibes again but can't go out because I have no money but when I do I will be sure to do a review about it on here because I know you all really give a shit. Check out my next post where I will be saying more stuff about something. Goodbye.
Monday, 14 May 2012
Hockey Players
Ok so this is a bit of a rant really, I don't get annoyed very often and when I do it's for a good reason like I run out of Bacon, but this thing just takes the biscuit. About 10 hockey players have just moved in to my Uni and Eugine the infamous black man was behind the move. They are going to be loud and obnoxious and if they think that they can get away with it they've got another thing coming, so I've pretty much come up with a plan to make their stay here as miserable as possible, and make them not want to act like complete twats. I know one Hockey Player and he is alright and shit but I bet these people are wankers. So here is a list of the top 5 things that I or anyone in Sassoon should do to make them have a really shit time in Sassoon. Here it is:
1. Take them on a night out but go to The Tavern.
2. Post threatening messages under their doors to make them scared then they run away.
3. Chuck eggs in the shower so that when they go for a shower their feet get all Eggy.
4. Tell really crap jokes to them so that they think we are all weird and will want to leave.
5. Ask awkward questions about their families back home so that they all think we are weird and want to leave.
6. Smoke loads of pot and pretend that we are all druggies.
7. Give them evils/hate full looks so that they feel threatened and want to leave.
8. Get them drunk then get them to have a night out in Brixton.
9. Bang on their doors loads at ridiculous times in the morning like 5AM or something, without waking anyone else up who actually lives in Sassoon obviously.
10. Take a dump.
I reckon if we did all of these things they would have a really miserable time and will want to go home so here is my blog. My next post is going to be about something but I'm not sure what yet. Goodbye.
1. Take them on a night out but go to The Tavern.
2. Post threatening messages under their doors to make them scared then they run away.
3. Chuck eggs in the shower so that when they go for a shower their feet get all Eggy.
4. Tell really crap jokes to them so that they think we are all weird and will want to leave.
5. Ask awkward questions about their families back home so that they all think we are weird and want to leave.
6. Smoke loads of pot and pretend that we are all druggies.
7. Give them evils/hate full looks so that they feel threatened and want to leave.
8. Get them drunk then get them to have a night out in Brixton.
9. Bang on their doors loads at ridiculous times in the morning like 5AM or something, without waking anyone else up who actually lives in Sassoon obviously.
10. Take a dump.
I reckon if we did all of these things they would have a really miserable time and will want to go home so here is my blog. My next post is going to be about something but I'm not sure what yet. Goodbye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)